Badass Women Who Put You to Shame

Badass Women Who Put You to Shame

We are men. We eat nails, work with our hands, and cry when we need to let it all out never act like sissies. We are clearly the tougher of the sexes. Ever seen a woman with a beard?  Aside from at the Waffle House, I think not. Because women aren’t tough enough to scare hair follicles out through every pore of the skin.

For years the media has propagated this lovely idea that women are dainty and inferior. This notion was great for men—we were allowed to be fat and drunk and still represent the pinnacle of awesomeness! Neato!

But the free ride for men in the media has done a 180 turn and moon-walked away. Women are not only becoming their families’ breadwinners (see: www.nytimes.com), they’re also taking over men’s roles in physical strength and craftiness. For my male readers, perhaps it’s time to put down the Doritos, pause Call of Duty, cap that Mountain Dew, and take a glance at why we’re becoming obsolete. 

Stephanie Toomey

Meet Stephanie Toomey, the recent focus of an in-depth article on fitness.  This Marine was an All-Armed Forces softball player and now spends her days doing Crossfit and other weightlifting routines, all while raising a family. 

Kinda makes you re-evaluate that gas-station burrito in your sausage-fingered hand, huh?

Ronda Rousey

Hello, Ronda Rousey (please don’t hurt me if you don’t like my article).  To the right you see the reason why handsy men will have their comeuppance—the #1 pound-for-pound ranked woman in Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), she holds the UFC’s Bantamweight title. 

She is trained in Judo (a sport in which she won an Olympic medal), and trains everyday with some of the top names in MMA.  I’m fairly certain I know who would be opening the ketchup jars in her household.

Holley Mangold

Holley Mangold
[via tumblr]

And finally, the woman who puts us all to shame, man and woman alike, Holley Mangold.  This USA Olympic weightlifter stands 5’8” and weighs a fear-inducing 350lbs.  Her combined snatch and clean-and-jerk lifts?  Only 562.2lbs. 

I was drunk on happiness when I put up 185lbs in the clean-and-jerk—her strength is mind-blowingly intense (you have to expect strength out of the sister of an NFL lineman—oh? Did I forget to mention that she too was a football lineman in high school?)

So, gentleman boys, while most of us can never hope to equal any of the aforementioned women, we can at least work on not being the butt of our partners’ “weak body” jokes.  Strap on your man pants, take a supplement or two—beta-alanine will help to prevent soreness or exhaustion (see: excuses)—and get your doughy self to the gym!